最近一直在看生活大爆炸的衍生剧小谢尔顿，每一集时间只有18分钟左右，感觉在观看娱乐的同时来学一下英语也挺好的。

学习的第一集下来，发现很短的几个对话，竟然有这么多的单词不认识，看来还需要好好学习啊！

s4e14

单词：

**creature 生物
trait 特征，品质
cranky 怪癖得，不稳得
complicated 复杂得 complicate的过去式
consistency 一致性
flawless 完美的；无暇的
crave v 渴望，迫切需要
approval n. 同意，认可，赞同
envelope 信封
straighten v 弄直，整顿
offense n.进攻，过错，犯罪
leapt leap 过去式 v 跳跃；跃
pounding n. 重击声
bladder n. 膀胱
pronto adv. 很快地
chase vt. n. 追捕，争取 cut to the chase 切入重点
charitable adj. 仁慈的
colonoscopy n.结肠镜检查
applauded vi. vt. 拍手，鼓掌
cluck v. n. 发咯咯声
accountant n. 会计师
stick n.手杖 vt.刺入 vi. 钉住，粘贴
bride n. 新娘
cattle n 牛
maidservant n. 女仆 佣人
manservant n. 男仆，仆役
ass n. 驴，蠢蛋
ground v. 禁足
spice n. 香料 v. 给。。增添趣味
deduction n. 扣除 推论
bold adj.大胆的
receipt n.收据
mortal adj. 致命的
expense n. 花费，代价
Improper 不合适的
violation n.违背，违反
pep n. 活力 v.鼓舞精神
wrap up 完成**

字幕：

我算是个十分依习惯做事的人
I’m very much a creature of habit.

这个特质可能遗传自我父亲
Perhaps it’s a trait I got from my father.

周一

每天晚上他都会过一遍邮件
Every night he would go through the mail,

他也每一晚都会因邮件而不爽
and every night, like clockwork, he would get very cranky.

• 妈的 账单又来了 -管好嘴
• Damn bills. – George.

你可能会以为他早该习惯了
You’d think he’d get used to it,

周二

但无论多少个夜晚 这都能反复让他不爽
but night after night it upset him all over again.

去当陪审团吗 我了个…
Jury duty? Son of a…

管好嘴
George.

总之就是一言难尽
It was complicated.

周三

我不喜欢看到他不高兴的样子
I didn’t like seeing him upset,

但我又能如何呢 我也喜欢一致性啊
but what can you do? I love consistency.

国税局 这肯定不是好事
IRS? This can’t be good.

当然可以是好事
Sure it can.

国税局什么时候有过好事了
When is the IRS ever good?

或许是写信来夸奖我
Perhaps they’re writing to congratulate me

报税报得如此完美无瑕呢
on filing such a beautiful tax return.

• 信上说了什么 -还好 不算太糟
• What’s it say? – Okay. Not so bad.

我们得补交4块22
We owe four dollars and 22 cents.

什么
What?

还好不是什么太严重的事
That could’ve been worse.

可不是嘛
Yeah, tell me about it.

让我看看
Let me see that.

我先去梳洗好准备吃晚饭
I’m gonna wash up for dinner.

你们知道是他们搞错吧 我报的退税绝对没问题
You realize they’re wrong. My return was flawless.

就4块钱而已 别纠结了
I-It’s four dollars. Forget it.

但他们这意思是说我报错了
But they’re saying I made a mistake.

但你也帮我们成功退了很多税啊 你做得很棒
You also got us a nice refund. You did a great job.

我很感激我妈妈对我的爱
I appreciated my mother’s love,

但一个男孩真正想要的是
but what a boy really craves

国家机构对他公正不阿的赞许
is the unconditional approval of a government agency.

♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

少
年

谢尔顿

第四季 第十四集

中大奖吧 王乌龟
Yippee-Ki-Yay, Mr. Falcon.

等等 谁是王乌龟啊
Wait, who is Mr. Falcon?

谁都不是
No one.

那他为什么这么说
Then why’d he say it?

在电影版里他说的是脏话
Well, in the real version, he said a bad word,

王八蛋

所以电视版就和谐了
but they had to change it for TV.

电视也太垃圾了吧
TV is so lame.

那他真正说的是什么
What did he really say?

这个帅太多了
That’s so much better.

这部电影各方面都超牛逼
This movie works on a lot of levels.

爸 我检查了退税单 我没弄错
Dad, I reviewed the tax return and I was right.

他们才是算错的人
They’re the ones who made the mistake.

你在干什么
Uh– What are you doing?

给国税局开支票啊
Writing a check to the IRS.

但我们又不欠他们任何一毛钱
But we don’t owe them anything.

他们说我低报了家里的收入
They’re claiming that I underreported our income,

但我能证明是他们错了
but I can prove that they’re wrong.

为了几块钱跟他们斗可不是明智的选择
It’s not worth picking a fight with them over a few bucks.

让我打给他们 我能解决
Just let me call them, I can sort this out.

别纠结了 我们可不想被盯上
Just drop it, we don’t want to get on their radar.

但如果你寄支票过去
But if you send that check,

就等于承认我犯了错 但我根本没错
it’s like admitting I made a mistake when I didn’t.

谢尔顿 有时候对或错并不是最重要的事
Sheldon, sometimes being right isn’t the most important thing.

幸好你这么觉得 因为你可真是大错特错
I’m glad you feel that way, because, boy, are you wrong.

这件事到此为止
We’re done talking about this.

他又再次犯了大错
And there he goes, wrong again.

牛排馆

我要来一份肋眼牛排 三分熟
I’ll have the rib eye, medium rare.

那您呢
And for you?

请给我来一份招牌沙拉
Uh, just the house salad, please.

好的
Very good.

招牌沙拉
House salad?

你不会是在减肥吧
You watching your figure?

我明天要体检
I have a physical tomorrow.

所以你的计划就是今天开始健康饮食吗
Oh, so your plan is to start eating healthy now?

不快也光
Can’t hurt.

扭转不了70年来吃红肉喝啤酒的后果
It ain’t gonna undo 70 years of red meat and beer.

我没有想要扭转什么啊
I’m not trying to undo it,

我只是想要用生菜来粉饰太平
I’m just trying to hide it under some lettuce.

曹你爸
Son of a Mitch.

梅丽莎·库珀
Melissa Cooper.

干嘛 我说的是”曹”
What? I said “Mitch.”

这个字又没有哪里有问题
There’s nothing wrong with that.

但你的意思就是另一个字
But you meant another word.

不好意思 你说的是哪个字呢
I’m sorry, what other word?

你管好你的嘴
Just watch it.

等等 所以如果我有朋友姓曹
Hold on. So you’re saying if I have a friend

哪天我要说他爸爸的事
whose dad’s name is Mitch,

我不准跟他说”曹你爸怎么怎么了”吗
I’m not allowed to talk about him?

我知道你是在玩哪招
I know what you’re doing.

行吧 我只是觉得叔叔好可怜啊
Okay, I just feel bad for my friend.

曹你爸好惨啊
That poor son of a Mitch.

梅丽莎·库珀
Melissa Cooper.

• 沙拉可还美味 -难吃到要命
• How’s that salad? – It sucks.

你的牛排如何
How’s your steak?

你知道他们有时候会弄过熟 害牛排有点干吗
You know how they overcook it sometimes so it’s a little bit dry?

这次没有 超完美
Not this time. It’s so good.

你知道还有什么也超美味吗
You know what else is good?

这个萝卜
This radish.

• 你想要吃一口牛排吗 -想
• Would you like some steak? ‭- Yes.

那你之前就该老实点牛排
Then you probably should’ve ordered some.

超好吃
It’s delicious.

最毒妇人心啊
You are not a very nice lady.

醒醒 孩子
Psst. Hey-a, kid.

谁啊
Who is it?

是我 装给国税局支票的信封
It’s me. The envelope with the IRS check.

你找我干嘛
What do you want?

你不能让他把我寄出去啊
You can’t let him send me.

你又没算错
You didn’t make a mistake.

我知道啊 但是已经来不及了
Oh, I know that, but it’s too late.

还没啊 这支票30天后才到期
It’s not. The check isn’t due for 30 days.

所以呢
So?

现在去厨房把我抽出来就行了啊
Just go in the kitchen and take me off the pile.

给自己争取一点平反的时间
Buy yourself some time to straighten this out.

但是对信件做手脚是会犯联邦法律的
But tampering with the mail is a federal offense.

我还不是正式的信件 我又不在邮筒里
I’m not mail yet. I’m not in the mailbox.

法律就是这样
That’s the law.

如果我爸发现你不见了呢
But what if my dad notices you’re missing?

等他去上班后再下手 他绝对不会发现
Do it after he leaves for work. He’ll never know.

高招啊
That’s brilliant.

我并不存在 所以这妙计其实是你想出来的
I’m not real, so technically, you thought of it.

这就合理多了
That makes more sense.

隔天早上 我耐心等候
The next morning, I patiently waited

我爸爸出门上班
for my father to leave for work.

你要出门上班了吗
Are you leaving for work?

是啊 怎么
Yeah?

再见 您慢走
See you. Bye.

再见
Bye.

我立刻出击
I leapt into action.

我的心脏砰砰跳
My heart was pounding.

不知道职业间谍他们的膀胱控制力有多强大
I don’t know what kind of bladder control professional spies have,

但我这菜鸟可是要憋不住了
but this first-timer needed to pee pronto.

在阻止我爸爸要令我蒙受的不白之冤后
Now that I had prevented my dad from saying I made a mistake,

就到了让国税局承认错误的时候
it was time to get the IRS to admit theirs.

国税局 我是税务师格林
IRS, Agent Green speaking.

你好 我叫谢尔顿·库珀
Hello, my name is Sheldon Cooper.

请原谅我不多客套 要直接进入正题
Forgive me for cutting right to the chase,

我人在室外 我又十分苍白不耐晒
but I’m outside and my skin is incredibly fair.

行 有何能帮到你
Okay, how can I help you?

你给我家人发了一封账单表示
You sent my family a bill saying we owe

我们得补交4块22 但你算错了
an additional four dollars and 22 cents, but you’re mistaken.

我报的退税绝对无懈可击
I filed a flawless return.

抱歉 你几岁啊
I’m sorry, how old are you?

这问题无关紧要 但我11岁
That seems irrelevant, but I’m 11.

你的父母让一个11岁小孩来报税吗
Your parents let an 11-year-old file their federal tax return?

今年是这样 两年前他们让9岁孩子来报呢
This year. Two years ago, they let a nine-year-old do it.

你听我说 这些税码什么的很复杂
Look, these tax codes are complicated.

如果你只弄错了4块钱
If you only made a four dollar mistake,

那可以说是非常厉害了
that’s pretty impressive.

我完全没犯错 是你犯错
I didn’t make a mistake at all. You did.

• 是吗 -是的
• Is that so? – Yes.

但你别难过 这些税码什么的很复杂
But don’t feel bad, these tax codes are complicated.

行 我现在打开了你们的档案
Okay, I’ve got your file right here, and, uh,

貌似你们低报了收入啊
looks like you underreported your income.

其实如果你看看慈善捐款那一栏
Actually, if you check under charitable donations,

你会发现我们车库拍卖的收入
you’ll notice that the money we made

不能被算作应税所得
at the garage sale did not count as taxable income

因为我们把所得全捐给教会了
because we donated it to the church.

这样吗 那我再去研究研究
Well, I’ll, uh, I’ll have a look into that.

未来希望你能在发出信之前
In the future, you might consider doing that

就做好详细研究
before you send out the letter.

所以接下来是怎么样
So how does this work?

是你现在跟我道歉 还是会寄来道歉函
Do you apologize now, do I get it in writing?

又不是什么大事
It’s no big deal.

是结肠镜检查啊
It’s a colonoscopy.

• 所以呢 -这三个字的意思是”结肠”
• So? – ‭So, one of those words means “colon,”

以及”把摄像头塞进去”
and the other means “shoving a camera up it.”

我也挺”惊讶”会要你检查这个
I’m surprised you need one.

你有告诉他们你吃了沙拉吗
Did you tell him about the salad?

别开玩笑了好吗
It’s not funny.

你能别像个婴儿一样吗
Stop being such a baby.

老娘婴儿都生过了 你肯定能检查
Something I have pushed out of my body. You can do this.

等等 我有个主意
Wait, wait, I got an idea.

我们可以一起去做检查啊
Why don’t we do it together?

什么
What?

• 我才不要 -来嘛
• No. – ‭Come on.

这样很浪漫呢
It’ll be romantic.

你有病吧
You’re weird.

什么鬼
What the hell?

我们为什么要接受审计
Why are we getting audited?

什么 你确定不是我们要接受”夸奖”吗
What? Are you sure it doesn’t say “applauded”?

或许是要夸奖表现卓越
Perhaps for a job well done?

我们过去三年的退税要被审计
We’re being audited for the last three years of our tax returns.

我不懂了
I don’t get it.

我一周前就把支票寄过去了
I mailed in that check a week ago.

我可以解释一下这件事
About that. I can explain.

• 谢尔顿你说 -我需要一点时间
• Sheldon? – ‭I just needed some time

去跟他们证明我没有犯任何错误
to prove there were no errors in my work.

你干了什么
What did you do?

• 我抢在妈妈寄出前 收走了支票 -什么
• I took the check before Mom mailed it. – ‭What?

但我打给国税局搞定一切了啊
But I called the IRS and sorted things out.

很明显没搞定啊
Clearly you didn’t.

我跟你说了别去纠结
I told you to let it go.

对不起
I’m sorry.

到时候我们可能得补一大笔钱
This could end up costing us a fortune.

• 我能解决 -不必
• I can fix it. – No.

我要去请一个专业会计来搞定这一切
I’m gonna hire an accountant and have him handle it right.

• 但我想帮忙 -你帮够多倒忙了
• But I want to help. – You’ve helped enough.

回你房间反省
Go to your room.

遵命
Yes, sir.

你请我喝酒我还这么虐你 真过意不去
I feel bad beating you like this after you bought me drinks.

行 你想来玩点刺激的吗
Okay, I tell you what. You want to make it more interesting?

• 好 -那这样吧
• Sure. – ‭Okay, how about this?

如果我赢了 你陪我去做结肠镜
If I win, you get a colonoscopy with me.

天啊 你还在想这件事啊
God, are you still on this?

来嘛 有什么不行的
Come on, why not?

因为老娘不想
‘Cause I don’t wanna.

我也不想啊 但我的医生说我必须得做
Well, I don’t wanna, either, but my doctor said I got to.

我的医生可什么都没说
Well, my doctor didn’t say nothing.

你上次去找他是什么时候
When was the last time you saw him?

忘了 有段时间了
I don’t know, it’s been a while.

有段时间是指”半年”呢
Yeah, well, like, “six months” a while,

• 还是水门事件呢 -别烦我了
• “Watergate” a while? – ‭Drop it.

20年前

你上一次见他的时候 他还在用水蛭治病吗
Uh, last time you saw him, were they using leeches?

我要拿这根球杆
I’m about to take this pool cue

把你的医生打个花开富贵了
and beat your doctor to the punch.

看来是真的很久了啊
That long, huh?

我就只是想说 你去做个体检也没坏处
Look, all I’m saying is you could use a checkup.

• 我身体感觉好得很 -行
• I feel fine. – ‭Okay.

到你这把年纪 去看个医生也…
At your age, there’s nothing wrong with going in…

我不要去看医生 所以你…
I’m not going to the doctor, so just…

少跟我唧唧歪歪
mind your own business.

你为什么不跟我们一起吃晚饭
Why didn’t you eat with us?

我不饿 爸爸在生我气
I’m not hungry. Dad’s mad at me.

妈妈也对我不满
Mom’s not thrilled with me, either.

为什么
Why?

妈妈煮了鸡肉
Mom made chicken,

我说鸡经常咯咯叫
and I said chickens cluck a lot,

所以它们应该叫”咯咯鸡”
so they should be called “cluckers.”

而咯咯鸡都有妈妈
And some chickens are moms,

• 所以可以叫它们”咯你妈” -我不在乎
• so you could call them “mother…” – I don’t care.

老妈可在乎了
Mom sure did.

你做错什么了
What did you do wrong?

我害爸爸惹上国税局的麻烦了
I got Dad in trouble with the IRS.

他得请个会计师
He has to hire an accountant,

也许会让我们家损失一大笔钱
which could cost us a lot of money.

我去 我彻底打消了生熊孩子的念头
Dang, makes me not want to have kids.

你好
Hello.

你好啊
Well, hey.

你错过了好戏
Well, you missed it.

刚才有个老太婆在那边发飙
Some old broad went nuts over there

把她的台球杆扔到桌上
and threw her pool cue on the table.

真是个疯婆子
She’s crazy.

对不起嘛
Sorry.

你不喜欢医生 对吧
Well, you’re not a fan of doctors, huh?

他们从来不会给你好消息
They never have good news.

只想找出毛病
They just want to find something wrong.

这算是他们的职责
It’s kind of their job.

如果我有什么毛病
If something’s wrong with me,

我可不想知道
I don’t want to know about it.

讳疾忌医很傻
That’s dumb.

才不是
No, it’s not.

如果我要挂了
If I’m gonna drop dead,

我宁可死得痛快 留下美貌在人间
I’d rather do it quick and leave lookin’ good.

我想活很久很久 直到熬成千年老妖
I want to live so long I start looking like a mummy.

你的开局不错
You’re off to a strong start.

我老公以前去看医生
My husband went to the doctor.

他们发现有问题
And they found something.

两天后 他就动手术了
Two days later, he was in surgery.

九个月后 他就去世了
Nine months later, he was dead.

老天
Geez.

我可不想那样
I don’t want that.

我也不想让任何人经历这种折磨
And I, I don’t want to put anybody else through that.

我很遗憾
I’m sorry.

我希望你也能活得够久
I hope you stick around long enough

熬成千年老妖
to start looking like a mummy, too.

我倒自认是科学怪人的新娘那种类型
I always pictured myself more the Bride of Frankenstein type.

你发型是跟她一样啦
Well, you got the hair for it.

梅福德会计师事务所

情况看起来如何
So how’s it look?

我欠很多钱吗 我没钱的
Do I owe a lot of money? I don’t have a lot of money.

我看得出来
I can see that.

这报税是谁做的
Who did these?

为什么问
Why?

有这么糟吗
Is it that bad?

是无懈可击
They’re impeccable.

其实是我儿子做的
Actually, it was my son.

你为什么不直接叫他去应付审计
Well, why don’t you just use him for the audit?

他才11岁
He’s 11.

这是11岁的孩子做的
An 11-year-old did these?

事实上他当时可能只有9岁
Actually, he might’ve been nine at the time.

生日这种事我记不太清
I’m not good with birthdays.

你好
Hello.

你在玩火车吗
Playing with your trains?

我在惩罚自己 只能看着
I’m punishing myself by looking at them,

不准上手开车车
but not allowing myself to run them.

你不用惩罚自己啦
You don’t have to punish yourself.

因为你想亲自惩罚我吗 这也公平
Because you’d rather do it? That’s fair.

不是啦
No.

没关系 是我罪有应得
It’s okay. I deserve it.

事实上
Actually…

我是想让你代表我们家接受审计
I want you to represent us at the audit.

但我把一切都搞砸了啊
But I messed everything up.

确实
You did.

但我也知道 要说有谁够聪明
But I also know if anyone’s smart enough

能解救我们 那一定是你
to get us out of this, you are.

你为什么改变心意了
Why’d you change your mind?

没什么原因
No reason.

会计师说了什么
What did the accountant say?

没说什么
Nothing.

会计师说我的申报无可挑剔 对吗
They said my returns were perfect, didn’t they?

玩你的火车去
Play with your trains.

你为什么在读《圣经》啊
Why are you readin’ the Bible?

昨晚的事我感到很内疚
I felt bad about last night,

所以想着看一下可能对我有帮助
so I thought it might be good for me.

你在打什么鬼主意
Where are you going with this?

没主意 我只想让你开心
Nowhere, I just want to make you happy.

“于是 雅各变成
“And the man increased

非常富有 拥有很多羊群
exceedingly, and had much cattle,

男仆与女仆
and maidservants, and menservants,

• 骆驼和驴” -好了 停
• and camels, and asses.” – Okay. Stop.

屁股

怎么了 我只是在读《创世纪》
What? I’m just reading from Genesis.

• 别读了 -好吧
• Well, cut it out. ‭- Fine.

那我来读读《出埃及记》
Let’s try Exodus.

“但第七天你要休息
“And on the seventh day thou shalt rest:

在耕种和收割的时候也要休息”
that thine ox and thine ass may rest.”

屁股

够了 你被禁足了
That is it, you are grounded.

因为读《圣经》吗
For reading the Bible?

是因为你故意念出其他意思 给我回房间
The way you are doing it, yes. Go to your room.

好吧
Okay.

我没有驴子
I don’t have a donkey.

但如果有 我会带它离开这里
But if I did, I’d take my ass out of here.

屁股

你好 我是乔治·库珀 这是我儿子谢尔顿
Hello. I’m George Cooper. This is my son Sheldon.

嗯 我们通过电话
Yes, we spoke on the phone.

你人如其声呢
You look exactly like you sound.

不是每个人都有这优点
Not everybody does.

• 我们开始吧 -好
• Should we get started? – Yes.

我知道有些人认为税法的细节
I realize some people may find the ins and outs of tax law

有点乏味 所以允许我给这故事增添趣味
a little tedious, so allow me to spice this story up.

与其把这视为审计 不如看作一场对决
Instead of an audit, imagine this is a showdown

《联邦纳税申报指南》

两名战士通过最残酷
between two warriors in the most brutal

最刺激的搏斗形式来决一胜负
and exciting form of combat there is…

就是国际象棋
chess.

只有我激动到起鸡皮疙瘩了吗
Am I the only one who just got chills?

我们先从日期为1989年的纳税申报单的
Let’s start with the business deductions

附表A扣除额开始
from Schedule A on the tax return dated 1989.

我知道 开局走这一步很大胆
I know, bold opening move.

谢尔顿 黑棋
国税局 白棋

别担心 我是来大展身手的
Don’t worry, I came to play.

乐意至极
Happy to.

那些收据我都带来了
I’ve got those receipts right here.

注有日期 高亮标记
Dated, highlighted…

并且逐项登记了
and itemized.

我说了吧
Told you.

接下来三小时 我们展开鏖战
For the next three hours, we battled it out.

两个非凡大脑陷入一场你死我活的税码大战
Two mighty brains locked in mortal tax code combat.

为这笔开销做出合理解释
Justify this expense.

我们的调整后收入总额低于五万
Our AGI was less than 50,000.

分类不当
Improper classification.

是从上一会计年度延续下来的
Rolled over from the previous fiscal year.

这收据上沾了烧烤酱
The receipt has barbecue sauce on it.

• 爸爸 -对不起嘛
• Dad. ‭- Sorry.

看来你十分精通税码
So you are remarkably well-versed in the tax code.

谢谢夸奖 你真好
Thank you. ‭It’s nice of you

每年都免费帮你父母报税
to do your parents’ returns for free every year.

不是免费的
Oh, I don’t do it for free.

完事之后我爸都会买火车模型给我
My dad buys me a model train afterwards.

有意思
Interesting.

这么说你接受报酬
So you accept payment

尽管你不是持证专业税务人员
even though you’re not a licensed tax professional?

这明显违反了联邦法律
In clear violation of federal law.

将军
Check.

我正好落入了他的圈套
I had walked right into his trap.

不好意思 我需要去洗手间
Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.

你昨晚有没有看牛仔队的球赛
So, catch that Cowboys game last…

• 没有 -好吧
• No. ‭- Yeah.

巴拉德体育用品

巴拉德体育用品
Ballard’s.

• 是我 -怎么啦
• Hello. – Hey, what’s up?

你会很高兴知道我去做了体检
You’ll be happy to know I went out and got a checkup.

太棒了
Fantastic.

是啊 好得不能再好
Yeah, great, just great.

现在你可以别再逼逼这事了
And now you can shut up about it.

体检结果如何
Well, how’d it go?

好消息坏消息都有
Good news, bad news.

好消息是 我身体健康
Good news is I’m fine.

得知之后是不是很放心啊
Well, now, isn’t that comforting to know?

别得意
Don’t be smug.

坏消息是什么
So what’s the bad news?

• 医生希望我做结肠镜 -太好了
• He wants me to have a colonoscopy. – Great!

天啊 我们可以一起去做
Oh, my gosh, we can do it together!

你不觉得很浪漫吗
Can’t you just feel the romance?

浪漫个屁 你个怪人
No, you weirdo.

你在这啊
There you are.

我们在等你呢
Hey, we’re waiting on you.

我想回家
I want to go home.

你说什么傻话啊
What are you talking about?

我们还没弄完
We’re not done yet.

已经结束了
Yes, we are.

我犯了个错误 那会让我们损失
I made a mistake that’s gonna cost us

一大笔钱 我们家没这个钱
a lot of money that we don’t have.

我觉得自己好愚蠢
I feel so stupid.

觉得愚蠢也没关系的
It’s okay to feel stupid.

当然有关系
No, it’s not.

这只是代表你在成长
It just means you’re growing.

如果你回顾过往 没发现自己有犯蠢过
If you don’t look back and think you were dumb,

那只说明你没吸取过任何教训
then you, then you haven’t learned anything.

那我们该怎么做
So what do we do?

我们回去那里
We get back in there.

万一我们输了呢
What if we lose?

那不重要 无论输或赢
Doesn’t matter– win or lose,

我们都不放弃 知道吗
we don’t give up, all right?

我们进去吧 让他们见识我们的能耐
Now let’s get in there and show ’em what we’re made of–

你说好不好
what do you say?

你在橄榄球赛说过一模一样的打气话
I’ve heard you give that exact same pep talk at football games.

我没准备特别的演讲词嘛
Well, I didn’t have a special one prepared.

没关系
That’s all right.

我觉得受到了激励
I feel properly pepped.

那么
So…

刚才进行到哪了
where were we?

将军
Check.

没错
It’s true.

我是犯了个错
I made a mistake.

但我爸教会我 犯错也没关系
But my dad taught me that’s okay.

等等
Wait.

我爸是老师
My dad’s a teacher.

这意味着 我替我们家做税不是当雇工
Which means, my doing our taxes wasn’t work for-hire,

而是我爸在给我上经济课
but an economics lesson he was teaching me.

所以 他给我买的火车
Therefore, the train he bought me

并不是无证工作的报酬
wasn’t payment for unlicensed work,

而是成功完成我课程的奖励
it was a reward for successfully completing my lesson.

所以这并未违反法规
So it does not violate the statute,

由于火车的价值低于一万元
and since the value of the train is less than $10,000,

所以没有额外赠与税
there’s no additional gift tax.

将军
Checkmate.

那我们就审完了
Well, I guess that wraps it up.

结束了吗 发生了什么
Is it over? What happened?

我们赢了
We won.

等等 我们不欠任何税款吗
Wait, we don’t owe anything?

对 你们的报税全部合法妥当
No, your returns are all in order.

做得好
Well done.

多谢夸奖
Thank you.

你儿子非常聪明
Your son’s extremely intelligent.

• 是的 -希望明年还是你审核我们
• Yep. – I hope you audit us next year,

我就可以再次大胜你
so I can run circles around you again.

他一说蠢话就不聪明了 快走吧
Until he says something stupid. Let’s go.

这恶心玩意我们居然得喝那么多
I can’t believe we have to drink so much of that garbage. ‭

重要的是 我们可以一起做这件事 亲爱的
Well, the important thing is, we get to do it together, dear.

你真是满肚子鬼话
You are so full of crap.

屎

但它们呼之欲出了
Well, not for much longer.

失陪 狂泄庆典开始了
Excuse me, the festivities have begun.

你还带上那玩意去厕所吗
You’re taking that whole thing with you?

我要蹲很久
I’m gonna be a while.